Men are from Mars.....
I used to mock my husband for always talking about this radio talk show host he listens to all the time. Well, here I am, talking about the same talk show radio host. His name is Dennis Prager and yesterday he did an interview with the guy who wrote the book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus," as well as a new book entitled "Why Mars and Venus collide" (I think that's the title). Anyway, John Gray, the author, basically reaffirmed VERY well the difference between men and women.
I am amazed that there are people in this world who believe men and women are basically the same. I don't mean to offend anyone, so please don't be if you believe that. But here's the thing: you see it everywhere. Little kids whose parents don't want them to be part of the stereotypical males/female roles will give their sons dolls and daughters trucks.
And you know what always happens?
The little boys turn the dolls into guns or swords and the little girls give their trucks names, tuck them into bed and invite them to tea parties! If you think about it, even homosexual couples have gender roles. There is always a more masculine partner and more feminine partner. Why is that?
Because IT'S NATURAL.
Anyway, that's not at all what the talk show segment is about. I just had to get on that soapbox for a minute. The talk show is mostly about the differences in how men and women deal with stress. It must be true because I found myself chuckling the whole way through at the TRUTH of what John Gray was saying!
Anyway, if you have the time, it's really interesting and worth the time - the whole segment is just over 30 minutes, but even listening to the first 10 is beneficial.
So here it is: Mars vs. Venus
7 years ago
9 comments:
Women are from Pluto, which isn't even a planet. So take that.
So, I don't quite know where to start on how wrong many of your comments are. Parents who try to teach their children non-gendered stereotypes are not able to succeed not because "it's natural" for a girl to play with dolls and boys with swords, but because those children are bombarded with the typical north-American stereo types of what boys and girls should be doing- the media; other families; what they observe in the grocery store, or when they notice a father not doing household chores while the mom does. These behaviors are 100% learned from society. It is not "natural" because tons of other societies are matriarchal, where the women leads the home hunts and provides, while the men gather and tend to children- are the Children of God in these societies not "natural"- aliens, fish, plants, minerals- what are they exactly? Not to mentioned that there have been these types of societies throughout history.
When the Proclamation states that Gender is an essential characteristic it means that women make babies, and that humans should not attempt to change the bodies that they have been given, that's it. That is why one of the new Baptismal questions for new investigators is whether or not they have received Gender Reassignment Surgery- Not that women should cook and clean and wear pink and play with dolls.
"Even Homosexual couples..." Do you even know any homosexual couples? Huge stereotype there. I'll leave it at that.
Oh yeah, John Gray "PhD"... The guy has no accredited degree... NONE. The guy received his PhD from at Columbia Pacific University, a non-accredited distance education institution that was forced to close in 2001 when the California Department of Consumer Affairs obtained a court judgment that found that the school "awarded excessive credit... to many students" and "failed to meet various requirements for issuing Ph.D. degrees." Real freakin' expert there. The man hasn't even studied the debate on Gender accession even any social science discipline- sociology, psychology, gender studies- nothing except for Hindu Monkism- literally, he studied as a Hindu monk for 7 years, not in India though, in a rich Hindu monastery for rich Americans and Europeans in Switzerland (look it up). He has over-simplified the complex natures of our identities and personalities, and written a book on his assumptions, the text of which is mono-syllabic, and therefore easy to understand by the bbq-chip eating general public.
Yes, though, you are right when you say that women and men are different. That is about the end of the truth of this particular blog.
Comment by Leif
I hope you don't get offended at this Alisa, but you leave out a very important part of this argument, specifically about the dolls themselves, and the roles that they are forced into by our American society. For a little enlightenment, you should check out the well known author and screenwriter Don Mancini. He was the winner of the Eyegore Award and his film was nominated for best picture at the Catalonian International Film Festival. In his documentary, Child's Play (1988), he shows the struggle that one doll named Chucky faces as he tries to fit into his social role as a stereotypical doll. Chucky feels more like he is meant to be weapon toting psycho-killer than a child's toy. All around him are society's stereotypical roles for a doll, which just don't fit the way he feels inside. With a lot of courage, he is able to break out of that stereotype, at least for a time, until the narrow-minded, bigot Andy (who, I might add, does NOT hold a PhD) manages to silence his freedom by feeding poor Chucky into a wood chipper. It is a really tragic story of the roles we try to force onto the innocent of our society who just don't fit in. Let us try to be a little more understanding, OK Alisa?
Dearest Chrysalis,
If you took the time to hear what the esteemed mr. gray had to say, you'd probably be sad at yourself for knocking him so much.
First you might listen to it, realize how true everything he was saying was in your own life, and then you would possibly ask your husband to take a listen, so you could both understand each other a little better.
Then you'd hug.
sincerely,
bj
The good doctor was not arguing that men should force women to stay in the kitchen and do all of the house work, have babies, care for them, and smile as their husband sits on the couch, drinking his beer. He was just pointing out the differences that men and women have. It makes me think that our good friend, Chrysalis, forgot to click on the link that Alisa put on the blog to listen to what the good doctor had to say. So I am not really sure what Chrysalis was trying to say. Was she trying to argue that men and women ARE the same genetically and psychologically? Dr. Gray mentioned how they do studies and watch how men and women’s brains react differently to different situations. His book is exploring how we can deal with these differences to have happier lives. There is NO good science to support the fact that men and women are exactly the same. Such an idea is absolutely positively ridiculous and foolish. God made us different, we are supposed to be complements, not mirror images. Bishop Victor L Brown once said:
“The Lord defined some very basic differences between men and women. He gave the male what we call masculine traits and the female feminine traits. He did not intend either of the sexes to adopt the other’s traits but, rather, that men should look and act like men and that women should look and act like women. When these differences are ignored, an unwholesome relationship develops, which, if not checked, can lead to the reprehensible, tragic sin of homosexuality. In other words, we have a responsibility as priesthood bearers to be examples of true manhood.”
The only place on earth that teaches such inane ideas is the type of university that Chrysalis ridiculed the Dr. for not attending. The same type of university that the prophet Ezra Taft Benson was referring to when he said the following:
“The world worships the learning of man. they trust in the arm of flesh (D&C 1:19). To them, men's reasoning is greater than God's revelations. The precepts of man have gone so far in subverting our educational system that in many cases a higher degree today, in the so-called social sciences, can be tantamount to a major investment in error! Very few men build firmly enough on the rock of revelation to go through this kind of indoctrination and come out untainted." Teachings of Ezra Taft Benson, 319
God has never taught via the scriptures or via any of his prophets that men and women are the same. And the only place that teaches that is in the social sciences departments of our backwards, morally confused universities that teach the “learning of man.” I, however, trust the wisdom of personal experience and what the Lord’s servants have said. And what my personal observations have taught me is that I am very different from my wife. That me and my brothers are quite different than my sisters. And that we are so different to the very core, there is no way it is because of “North-American” stereotypes. I love how calling something a stereotype somehow makes it untrue.
Oh. And PS. Yes Alisa does know at least one lesbian couple that I know of. And surprise surprise, there is a masculine and feminine partner. Once again, calling that a stereotype does not make it untrue.
Sheesh, you're going to need a moderator to field through all of these comments pretty soon! I just want to say that you shouldn't comment on this portion unless you listen to the interview. I did and it has a lot of useful, albeit "monosyllabic" info. It's easy to understand so that it can be helpful to even the simpler and uneducated folk. It wouldn't be self-help if only an elite few were interested would it? Anyway, listen to the interview and then you won't worry so much about gender roles and dolls, that's going a little beyond the mark, if you ask me. He has some good points, and who cares what degree he does or doesn't have!! A lot of people that don't even have a degree write books and people still read them! He has a lot of good suggestions and true principles, it's definitely worth listening to and thinking about. Look for the positive-you'll find it, look for the opposite and you'll surely find it too. I like Becky's take on it all, we all just need more hugs!
Oops, I wanted to say a couple more things. Sorry Becki, I spelled your name wrong. And also, in response to the Gender issue mentioned in the Proclamation I quote "gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose." There is a whole lot more to gender than just being able to have babies or not. My word, what about those who never marry and have children because they can't or aren't able to physically have children? I could go on and on. Maybe that isn't what you meant but that is what you said. I'm not trying to argue, I'm just trying to clarify.
Wow. Turn a bunch of young adults with good minds loose, and look what happens! After I read the book I just tried to understand my husband better while trying to be a better wife. How simple-minded of me. Simple or not, I know when to laugh, and Leif, you take the award for discombobulation, you crazy mohinki, you!
I love you all! Because of people like you, the world is going to make it...
Yomama/Karla
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